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LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES VERSUS PUNISHMENT

All effective parenting approaches emphasize the importance of logical consequences instead of punishment. While punishment sometimes results in quick behavior change, its side effects far outweigh its benefits. These side effects include anger, resentment, revenge, avoidance, etc.

So, how do I know if I'm using a logical consequence or a punishment with my child? The first step involves being honest with yourself as you ask the following questions:

• Am I providing this discipline to help my child learn something that will help him become a more responsible and happy individual?
• Or am I doing this to get even with my child or show him how powerful I am?

Kids are amazingly good at sniffing out our unstated intentions or goals. If we say to a child, "I'll take you the places you want to go when I feel respected," and our true goal is to help them learn, this will come through in our voice and in our body language.

If we say the same thing, but our true intention has more to do with revenge than teaching, the result will be much less positive.

Effective parents know that it's okay to delay consequences until they are ready to teach rather than punish.

Thanks for reading. If you like this, get your friends on board!


Dr. Charles Fay