Past Articles
Spring Cleaning and New Beginnings
Whenever I think of Spring, I think of new beginnings! The winter gray and cold is giving way to the color and warmth of spring as our trees, grass comes to life, and flowers have broken through the ground.
Spring also happens inside, in our homes. When I was growing up, this was the time of the year my mom would have my brothers and I washing walls, cleaning windows, the carpet and purging things we no longer fit, need or use. We seemingly got ready to open our windows wide and let in fresh air and a brand-new season awaiting. For some, Spring cleaning often includes a fresh coat of paint on walls, new or at least rearranged furniture, and perhaps a thorough straightening and cleaning of the garage.
Did you know there is another Spring cleaning we need to pay attention to…the one in our hearts! How are all of our relationships - are they strong and thriving? Do they enhance our lives? This is the time to take stock of your relationships and clean out what hurts us. Our most important friendships are within our families…our immediate families. Family is the place where you began life. The family includes our parents, our children, our siblings and our friends. Family today are those people whom we are bound to by birth, by law, and by love.
What is Spring cleaning in relationships? Take some time to be reflect on and assess each of the relationships in your family – your family of origin, your family you created, and your extend family and friends. Some questions to ask yourself are:
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Am I estranged from anyone?
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Are you carrying any grudges?
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Have you been able to forgive past grievances?
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Have you asked for someone’s forgiveness?
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Have you forgiven transgressions of others?
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Where you the one that stopped responding?
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What prevents you from reaching out to reconnect?
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What needs to happen before you feel strong enough to rebuild these relationships?
Whether you consider your relationship satisfactory or exemplary – Spring cleaning is critical to enriching and strengthening these bonds.
As Single Dads, the most important relationship you will ever have is with your children. They are your heart and soul. Whether your child is biological, adopted, or fostered…they need you. You gave them life…in the conception sense but you must also give them daily life. They deserve and need your nurturing and guidance to be able to become all they were created to be. Your children crave your wisdom from life lived. They want to hear your childhood stories. They want to learn how to pitch a ball or ride a bicycle. They need to hear your voice reading to them and help them with a school project. They need you to attend their games, plays, concerts, and meetings. Yes, more than just your child support and weekend visits per your divorce decree or custodial responsibilities.
SPRING CLEANING 2026
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Reflect on your childhood. Were your Mom and Dad all you needed them to be? Have you given your kids what you wish you had been given? This goes beyond, did you buy them that toy, take them on that cruise they wanted or give them the latest cell phone with the latest gadgets attached to it.
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Have you ever had a candid conversation with your kids about how they feel about your relationship? Listen to them without being defensive. Ask them how you can be better for them. Share with them (age appropriate) what you need.
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If you have not spoken to them in a while, call or write now! Always keep in mind you are the parent and they are the child. Rejection is a heart breaker but never stop trying – ever. It very well might take your children having children before they respond but nevertheless you take the high road. They will then remember that you never gave up on them.
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Commit yourself to become active in their daily lives. They will be adults before you know it. My son is now 38 and I can still remember his grade school and high school years like they were yesterday!
Every child desire (and needs) to be called by name and told they are important and loved. Without question, society has known this and research has proven how critical and essential a father is in the life of a child. A child needs to be cuddled. A child needs to be read to. A child needs help with homework, taught how to read a bicycle, or throw a football. More importantly, every child must know their father…the man. Who are you? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite memory? Who are your heroes? What do you need to be happy? Introduce yourself to them and build from there. The relationship starts with you!
Start now and enjoy the summer!
Chores are a Life-Skill that MUST be Taught!
Growing up, I had chores. Most of us grew up having to do chores. We hated them. Often, we would have to be reminded and thought our parents were being too lazy to do it themselves, ESPECIALLY if you did not get an allowance for the chores. I am sure it was hard enough to get your kids to do chores in two parent families, but when you are a single parent, the struggle to get your kids to complete chores seems to be near impossible.
In today’s age, it seems many parents do not have their children do their chores, especially in single parent households. If you are a single dad and your kids are not living with you, it is usually a given you will not have your kids do chores. While the reasoning behind this problem, yes problem, may have perfect logic, you are actually cheating your kids at lessons of life skills and independence as adults.
I get it, todays parenting is not what it was two or more decades ago. Parents are working multiple jobs, or have jobs that require early mornings and late hours, kids are in multiple extra-curricular activities, too tired, it’s easier if I just do it myself, and the best excuse, my kids will have to do them when they are adults, why make them do chores now!? As single dads, when it is our weekend to have our children, we want it to be a pleasant experience full of fun, so we don’t make our kids do chores, because we are afraid they may not want to spend time with us because we make them do chores. You know how to do chores….why is that?
You know how to do chores because you were taught, usually by a parent or relative, to do them. We do them now without thinking twice, but we had to learn it from somewhere. Yes, we still do not like to do our chores, but to own a home, lack the finances to hire someone to do them, yet must be completed to maintain a clean, safe, welcoming home for ourselves and our children. Even if you can afford to pay someone to do the work for you, you are still cheating your children out of needed life skills for adulthood. These chores teach self-confidence, self-reliance (independence), accountability, and pride for they place they live.
Part of parenting is preparing our children for adulthood. Many of those life skills are taught at age appropriate levels. It starts with teaching our children to talk, potty training and brushing their teeth. Chores also are a key ingredient preparing them for adulthood. Teaching chores at when they are adolescents is actually much more defeating then when they are little.
I want you to think about when you had friends over at your house for dinner and you have a mess in your kitchen. The last thing you want to do is clean the kitchen. You roll up your sleeves and get started. When it is done, you look at it as an accomplishment and a bit of pride that your kitchen is clean!
